Whaaaa? It’s that time again? Bathing suit season, I’M SO READY! -Say’s no one ever. Well, do I have news for you. First of all, I just want to remind you that you’re not allowed to feel inferior this year. Or insecure. Or hate your body. You are allowed to do none of these awful things that steal your joy. Do you hear me? Good. Those girls who you’re always comparing yourselves to, leave them be. Don’t do that. That’s cool that they’re super fit and have amazingly chiseled abs, but if that’s not you don’t waste your time wishing it was. We have babies, we have weight issues, we have…life. Life is fun when you’re not wishing for something that you don’t have. And remember when we’re eighty we’re all going to be in the same boat, full of well-earned wrinkles, and tits to our knees! Hooray! What will make us rich and beautiful at eighty are the memories we have earned. The memories of playing, loving and tasting life. You don’t want to sit in your rocking chair and be empty of experience. Trust me, when you’re eighty that memory of you on the beach, or at the pool enjoying yourself will be so valuable. And you won’t care that you had flabby thighs, or too many rolls on your belly. Because, it doesn’t fucking matter what your shell looks like.
So, my homies, let me introduce you to the Miracle Suit. It’s like Spanx but for the pool; holds it, pushes it, slims you down a size. This is my second year of Miracle Suit wonder. I’ll never go back. I’m every woman it’s all in me. I’m in a size 8 in my photo. The size six made my butt look squished, and I like big butts. Is it worth the price? Yeah, it’ll last. We’re not talking Target quality. This suit is a lifer. I found a plus size similar to mine! Linked you below, yo!
Purse snob! Hello, here I am. It’s true. I veer toward the popular brands like Louis, Celine, Gucci. Shallow, I know. I buy a shallow purse every time I publish a book. Except this year I did not. Why? I guess maybe because I have a wedding coming up and there were so many expenses that go along with that. But, last month, right before I left for England I decided that I needed a new bag. One with a zipper, because do you guys remember my Paris pickpocketing experience? Never again will I travel without a bag that zips closed. Anyway, I didn’t want to spend a mortgage payment on a bag. I found this magic little number. Matte black, tassel, leather, cross-body option. It fits my Macbook, a good sized novel, my makeup bag, and there’s still room. I love this bag more than my shallow, name brand bags. If you’re considering one I posted two different sizes below. One is the suede smaller version if you don’t intend on hauling your laptop around. As for my Nikes, I’ve lived in these for weeks. I love them so much. Be careful when ordering sizes they’re listed as men’s. I am a size NINE women which is a SEVEN in men.
I just know that if Eminem saw me in my gangster Nikes he’d say, “Tarryn, you and I, we’re meant to be together…” I wear them often hoping to catch his eye. Then I’d be a dirty word in one of his rap songs and I could die a happy, happy woman. Am I alone in this dream? I didn’t think so. Marshal can you hear me?!
I am versatile in style. Honestly some days I wake up and feel gangster, some days I want to feel feminine and I slip on a dress. I think it’s okay to be all the things. You know why? Because women are moody as fuck, and also versatile. We figuratively wear many hats, and it’s okay to have many literal hats to reflect that. So for your gangster days I give you my outfit. It’s sort of hipster gangster if you know what I mean. Roll with me here.
P.S. The blazer listed is gold, but there’s a black option. I’m wearing a small.
Ever since my friend Rebecca Donovan came to visit I’ve been hooked on champagne. Seriously though she takes champagne with her wherever she travels, and also loads and loads of jewelry. She’s like Mary Poppins when she starts taking things out of her bag; except everything is shiny and filled with bubbles. Scarlet and I were mesmerized. I bought this long blazer because it reminds me of Rebecca and our drunk champagne nights. I’m not even sure I like champagne, but I drink it now because she left so many bottles in my fridge. Anyway, I included a couple of different boot styles in the post. The pair that I’m wearing are mostly sold out, so in case you can’t find your size check out the other styles. There’s one pair on a GREAT sale.
Errrrybody wanted to know about the sweater so here she is. Cable knit, comfortable, sexy, slouchy. Need I say more? I tried to find a similar style that won’t break the bank, but I wasn’t successful. I went back twice for it and talked myself out of the purchase both times. In the end it haunted me. I can say that Free People does not disappoint. The quality of their clothes ensures that you’ll be wearing whatever you buy for years.