Last of Summer

Ohhhhh boy. Literally, I gave birth to one. And now that I’m done being pregnant I’m sort of ready to blog again. I can tell you that I’m not enthusiastic about buying clothes since I still have 30lbs to lose, but I am managing to find some outfits to disguise that fact. I’ve been living in dresses since I don’t have a single pair of jeans that fit me. I feel like I’m in a race with winter to lose weight so I can avoid buying new pants. And though I cringe when I look in the mirror I’m reminding myself that I’m human and reciting those famous words everyone keeps saying… “It’ll take time.” In the meantime I feel flabby. My thighs chaff when I walk and I have some wicked mom stripes on my belly (they only arrived after I had the baby, go figure). Honestly, I’m really enjoying motherhood in my thirties and though I think vain thoughts throughout the day I am quite content. Praise be!

What I am doing:

The worst thing one can do when attempting to be healthy mentally and physically is compare. Women have a knack for making themselves feel inadequate. Whether you’ve just had a baby or you’ve been struggling with your weight since you started eating solids the best way to feel good in your own skin is to focus on what you DO have going on. Strong legs, white teeth, bouncy hair, pretty toes, smooth skin, whatever. Those areas you want to improve; don’t let them control the way you feel. Instead of saying “I am failing” say: “I am working on it.”  And…well…work on it. Working on it feels good, working on it feels productive.

I’m working on feeling like myself again. Every day I either walk, or walk and interval run. I’ve been averaging four mile walks mostly with the baby strapped to my chest. I use the weighted hula hoop on top of that (30 minutes in the evenings). I’ve cut out carbs and I’ve been mainly sticking to protein, veggies and grains. I’ve only lost four pounds.

What I’ve failed at: alcohol. Face palm. I started my liquor fast yesterday. Man, I like to drink.

What I plan on doing: Orange Theory. I’m basically trying to get fit enough to get fit.

Anyway, here is a dress that made me feel sexy! It showed just enough boob and hid just enough belly fat.

 

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Capitol Hill

My forty dollar top shop dress, hell yes. It’s jersey material so has good stretch, and is flattering for women who have big boobs and small boobs. I am wearing a size 8 in the photo. Love that slit too. I plan on wearing it with my adidas soon.

Capitol Hill

Josh and I decided to spend an entire day wandering around Capitol Hill’s funky bar/bookstore/music scene. Why don’t I live there? I officially fell in love and CH is my new favorite place in Seattle. If you visit grab some drinks at one of the many colorful bars, who ALL display signs in their windows welcoming every type, color and gender of person. That’s the thing about Seattle, it’s all love and acceptance over here. Freedom of expression and land of artists. I love my home state so very much. Along with the many cool shops is my favorite bookstore: Elliot Bay Book Company, and the awesome Retrofit Home shop. Have Drinks and a corn dog at the weird Unicorn.  And Brunch!  Seattle has one heck of a brunch scene (London Plane is my favorite). Either way, you can’t go wrong on Capitol Hill. I’ll be seeing some of you soon for my Write or Die conference in Seattle this month! Can’t wait!

Outfit linked below. I bought my snake wrap bracelet at a little store in Port Townsend, this was the closet match I could find. And my Miranda bag is no longer made by Michael Kors, which is terribly sad because it’s my favorite bag of all time. I’ve been faithfully using it for five years now. However, you can still find this style on some second-hand sites like The Real Real.

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Dressy

Just so you know my dress is back in stock and on SALE. Under $42! This is a big summer go-to for me since it’s flattering on top and doesn’t cup and caress belly weight. It’s really well made too so don’t worry about the quality, I’ve washed mine over and over.  If you’re a shorty wear it with wedges. I’m 5’6 and I’m wearing a Medium in the picture. It can double in fall with a jean jacket. I threw in some sale sandals too. LOVE the star sandals!

What I’m reading!

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The Wrap Dress

So you guys keep asking me about the wrap dress I posted on my main Instagram page. The problem is that I bought that dress last year and the exact print I’m wearing in the photo is no longer available. The good new is that the designer has multiple other wrap dresses in slightly varying style and print. I can vouch for the brand. Also, my Michael Kor sandals are on sale and that price is a steal. So here is a little wrap dress offering for you. Remember to scroll right to see all of the options. Hope you find something you like!

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That One Time in Portland

It’s a really odd adjustment when you have children from a previous relationship and then get married to someone new. I know a lot of you remarried, dating divorcees feel me right now. And who dreamed of this as little girls, you know?

One day I will grow up to have a dream wedding, and then get divorced, and have another dream wedding!

Yikes

I still struggle with the word: divorce. I still struggle with the fact that I failed. But so is life, and for the first year my reality was that of two worlds colliding. How do I make this transition smooth for everyone involved?

Love

When Josh moved in over a year ago I found myself stretched to max, trying to make everyone in the house feel like the most important person. I was building a new relationship with a man, essentially starting from scratch, while trying to raise two children to be well adjusted, confident, kind humans. It was a hard lesson in which I learned that I am indeed only human. And that if hearts are pure things have a way of working themselves out. I was trying to get as much alone time with Josh as I possibly could, while simultaneously creating these beautiful family moments where we could bond. I would not want to return to that first year where I tried too hard, burned myself out, and often felt defeated.

Josh loves kids. Kids love Josh. He’s very good with them, and not just mine. All. Of. Them. And so while I was stressing out about family time, alone time, one-on-one time, Josh was already bonding with my children. I was just too busy stressing to notice.  Kids are not even a little bit stupid. Adults are stupid. Kids are pure and unfiltered. They know when someone likes them, they know when someone has a pure heart. He reads to them every night, from the chapter books they loving choose together at the bookstore. Sometimes Scarlet reads to him and I find him sitting against a wall in her bedroom while she walks circles around her rug, reading. He does a lot of one-on-one time with them, taking Ryder to sporting events, and Scarlet to the bookstore (her favorite place). And he teases. This weekend we took a trip to Portland for one of my family getaways/bonding time. He convinced both of them that Portland doesn’t allow children under the age of six in the city and told Ryder he would need to tell people that he was eight in order to be allowed in. Ryder spent the weekend telling strangers that he was eight, only to find out it was all a Josh scam. He laughed pretty hard when he found out he’d been conned once again by his stepfather. They have this tone in which they say Josh’s name.

Juh-ooooosh!

I just wanted to share this little bit of my life. And to tell you that if there is love things will work themselves out. You don’t need to control everything, and you can’t create perfect family moments; they happen organically.

Links to my Portland outfit below. This dress is such beautiful quality. it’s heavy without being heavy. And I finally bought new Ray Bans after someone stole all of mine out of my car. They’re a different style. Square framed and very lightweight on the face. Happy Fourth!

 

 

What I’m reading!

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Step Right Up

Step right up, shoot an arrow at the target-The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus if you’re not familiar. And you know what? I wasn’t familiar, not until Josh started song flirting with me. It didn’t click right away. Not when my friends told me (you’re dense like a brick, Tarryn), or when the songs intensified in message (Front Porch Step, Whole Again).

He bought me the arrow necklace our first Christmas together annnnd I guess The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus has a special place in my heart. My necklace is an oldie from Tiffany & Company, but I found some similar styles. And hey! Perfectly frayed jean jacket, hello! I have this dress in four colors (green, black, pink, and blue). Not all at once, yo! Every year Leith releases a new color. But black was the first and after four years of washes it still looks brand new.

Also

Scroll to the bottom of my post to see what I’m reading!

What I’m reading!

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Swallow That

Today I was sitting in a bar in Zurich, right after I took these photos actually. I was minding my business when I heard two American colleagues, a table over, criticizing our bartender’s looks. They were in their early thirties, a man and a woman. The bartender mind you was a woman, a very petite, pretty woman. It was meanness for the sake of meanness. I was all rapid eye blinking, raised eyebrows (sometimes I can’t raise them because of Botox). My initial reaction was to start picking apart the way they looked. Sort an eye for an eye. Let’s turn a mirror around on you and dig in your mutt ancestry and stringy hair. That’s not the right reaction. It’s the immediate reaction for me though. I is the sheriff in town-YEEHAW!

I didn’t say anything today.

Today

Sometimes I don’t try to be mature, or good, or be the fucking change I want to see in the world. Sometimes I lash out. I’m saying it all here instead. I’ve noticed something about our culture, and I can’t speak for other cultures because I don’t know how they do. But in our culture we pick apart to be funny. We treat people’s bodies, and faces, and cultures like it’s our business. A stand up comedy routine.

It’s not.

We should stop doing that. We can’t be perfect, but maybe we can just be…better.

That’s all

Go shop my bomb ass dress.

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Girl Gang

I thought we needed this today.

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Grace

I read a line in a book recently that said, Evil things love chaos.  Wow. A simple truth if I’d ever heard one. Part of being human is to be hurt by other humans. Sometimes people hurt you intentionally, and sometimes you just get in their way while they’re hurting themselves. It’s painful either way. That’s where grace steps in. And they don’t always ask for forgiveness. But to be on the receiving end of grace there has to be confession, a contriteness of heart. Your heart can always be filled with an attitude of grace. You can forgive someone without them asking for forgiveness, sure. But, grace cannot be given away without a repentant heart. In other words being sorry is what kicks grace into action.  Grace certainly doesn’t paper over guilt.  Grace is not a supernatural “Get Out of Jail FREE” ticket-a no-strings-attached, open-ended  self-awarded privilege divorced from any moral demands. Sometimes, my friends, you have to realize that an apology is not coming your way. Human’s cope with their evil by pretending it’s not there. Convincing themselves they didn’t do anything wrong, or that the evil things they did were deserved by the person they inflicted them on. This is also called narcissism. When you uncover these relationships in your life it’s okay to walk away. Even while you’re walking you can forgive them and keep grace in your hearts. But, you didn’t leave Grace Town, they did. Also, my dress is linked below.

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Hippy

Over the weekend we dragged the kids to Bellevue to go to the Z Gallerie. Have you ever been? No? You’re missing out. Check them out online, they’re my absolute favorite store for home decor. They have odd things, the type of things you’d imagine I’d have in my house.  Anyway, I linked my outfit below. I am getting a ton of wear out of these BedStu sandals. Since they’re neutral they’ve become my go-to. I linked a bag similar to the one I have. Mine was last year’s and they don’t have it anymore.

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