Okay, so here I am exhausted AF and being honest. Last week was rough. As a family we had the type of September and October that should be locked in a closet and never let out again. I’m sure you can relate. You know those months where EVERYTHING goes wrong all at the same time? It makes for stressful times. Between my writing schedule, the kids school schedules, co-parenting with an ex, and about fifty wrenches thrown in our way; I went to bed and didn’t get out of it for two days. I couldn’t. I was emotionally drained and psychologically exhausted (lack of self care), and I didn’t want to speak (didn’t want to do anything actually). And so I didn’t. I cried a lot if that counts as something. Avett stayed in bed with me and man that baby gives me joy where I can’t find any. My bed was littered with baby toys and bottles and he was the only person I was okay being with. Sounds dramatic, I know. But, man, I don’t know how to rest. It’s a sickness. People who go non-stop and put everyone else’s needs before their own are susceptible to cracking sometimes. You need someone in your corner to tell you that you’ve been going too hard for too long, and that you desperately need to rest and breathe. I don’t know if you have someone like that in your corner, so I’m going to tell you. You need a YOU break. Okay? Please. Your mental health, your mind, your nurturing of your family hinges largely on your mental health and happiness. No matter what anyone tells you you are entitled to your own space, and you have a right to fight for your own happiness. Being a mother doesn’t mean you cease to exist as an individual. You’re still there, buried under the saggy tits and dry shampoo. Your dreams, and visions, and hobbies still matter even after you expanded your life for a partner and small humans. It doesn’t matter if you’re a mom, if your family is judgmental, if you “should” feel soooooo lucky about your wonderful life. You are a human who sometimes runs out of juice. Your cup dries up because you pour, pour, pour. Refill without guilt, my friends. Carve out some space for the girl who used to have time to wash her hair, and have perky tits. Create, sleep, cry, rest, go to a movie, take a bath, read a book, lock yourself in the bathroom (I do this). I love you and you’re still you.
My sweater (that you asked about) wasn’t supposed to be on the blog. I’ve mentioned before that I shop in the men’s department often, and that’s where I found it. Josh liked it so much he went and bought one for himself (we won’t be wearing them at the same time). But, I linked it for you. I’m seventeen pounds down and I’ve stuffed myself into two pairs of my larger jeans! I’m wearing a men’s small in the photo and it fits perfectly. I normally wear a woman’s Medium.
What I’m Reading
Thirty five years old and I’m still wearing overalls, heart shaped sunglasses, and pom poms on my beanies. Dressing is an art form. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your personal style isn’t an expression of your creative. I hear so many women fret about wearing something that is “too young”. I think that you can tailor any outfit to your age and comfort, but the most important thing for your confidence is to wear clothes that you feel good in. You won’t know unless you try. So be creative, shush that inner voice that tells you that you can’t, and TRY IT ON.
While I was pregnant with Avett I kept running across cute pairs of overalls. I’d buy them thinking that I’d fit into them after I had him. Lofty dreams. Well, five months and a gazillion miles on the treadmill later and I’m starting to be able to shimmy into my clothes. I am the proud owner of six pairs of bibs (insert awkward face emoji). But these! These are the best pair of overalls ever. The straight fit is extremely slimming and they’re more comfortable than any of my denim pairs. There’s a zipper down the side rather than the traditional clips over the shoulder (the straps on these are attached, though I had no problem getting into them like I initially thought I would). Hey! I like your face, and no you’re not too old to wear that.
What I’m reading!
Don’t let anyone tell you that leggings aren’t pants, especially Blair Waldorf. Since everyone has been asking where I get mine I threw a post together for you. The ones I’m wearing are gunmetal in a size 8-10. I got my oversized courier shirt at a small boutique so I did my best to find something similar for you. I’m ten pounds down! But I still can’t fit into any of my old jeans. Happy shopping!
If you’re like me and don’t mind breaking fashion rules I have a pair of pants for you! I plan on pairing them with chunky sweaters all fall and winter. They’d look great with a pair of black booties too. One more week till my kids start school and I’ll have a few more hours to work. A lot of you ask me how I do it all. Right now I have a sleeping baby in my arms while I put this post together. I spent the morning with him strapped to my chest in my Ergo while I stood at my hightop table and wrote a chapter for my next book (rocking side to side). It’s definitely about mind over matter, acclimating to new situations, and being willing to work under and in any circumstances. How bad do you want it? Good. Do whatever you have to to get it. We’re women, we can if we really try. That’s our gift.
Ohhhhh boy. Literally, I gave birth to one. And now that I’m done being pregnant I’m sort of ready to blog again. I can tell you that I’m not enthusiastic about buying clothes since I still have 30lbs to lose, but I am managing to find some outfits to disguise that fact. I’ve been living in dresses since I don’t have a single pair of jeans that fit me. I feel like I’m in a race with winter to lose weight so I can avoid buying new pants. And though I cringe when I look in the mirror I’m reminding myself that I’m human and reciting those famous words everyone keeps saying… “It’ll take time.” In the meantime I feel flabby. My thighs chaff when I walk and I have some wicked mom stripes on my belly (they only arrived after I had the baby, go figure). Honestly, I’m really enjoying motherhood in my thirties and though I think vain thoughts throughout the day I am quite content. Praise be!
What I am doing:
The worst thing one can do when attempting to be healthy mentally and physically is compare. Women have a knack for making themselves feel inadequate. Whether you’ve just had a baby or you’ve been struggling with your weight since you started eating solids the best way to feel good in your own skin is to focus on what you DO have going on. Strong legs, white teeth, bouncy hair, pretty toes, smooth skin, whatever. Those areas you want to improve; don’t let them control the way you feel. Instead of saying “I am failing” say: “I am working on it.” And…well…work on it. Working on it feels good, working on it feels productive.
I’m working on feeling like myself again. Every day I either walk, or walk and interval run. I’ve been averaging four mile walks mostly with the baby strapped to my chest. I use the weighted hula hoop on top of that (30 minutes in the evenings). I’ve cut out carbs and I’ve been mainly sticking to protein, veggies and grains. I’ve only lost four pounds.
What I’ve failed at: alcohol. Face palm. I started my liquor fast yesterday. Man, I like to drink.
What I plan on doing: Orange Theory. I’m basically trying to get fit enough to get fit.
Anyway, here is a dress that made me feel sexy! It showed just enough boob and hid just enough belly fat.
Sooo long, it’s been so long. My excuse is that I’ve been writing harder than I’ve ever written before. More than one project too, so I don’t even shop anymore. And when I do shop it’s for baby gear. Also, I haven’t wanted to wear clothes for months now, so all I’ve had to sell you is my nudity. I’ve started wearing clothes again and not just walking around in Josh’s boxers and a sports bra. Clothes are necessary I’ve found, if you want to leave the house. So, I’ve stocked up on yoga pants (mostly Zella), and pregnancy tanks (which I wear even when I’m not pregnant), and some shirts that can accommodate my belly.
Wildfox. Expensive AF! The first time I bought one I had immediate buyers remorse. However I didn’t return the sweatshirt and have worn it consistently for four years. Wild fox is the only sweatshirts I’ll wear now, because once you feel how soft and comfortable they are you no longer want to wear those other stiff things. The pullover I’m wearing in my photo is not on sale, however I included a couple that are! Just click the links below to check them out.
I’m reading a GREAT book right now, so make sure you click on the link to see what I’m reading.
What I’m Reading!
Okaaaay! I’ll let you where I got my shoes. Truth be told, I got them last winter and didn’t think JC would bring them back. Alas! they did. So here are my favorite shoes. So comfortable by the way. I love me some thick soled wedges, the chunkier the better, but if the soles are too narrow I wobble. Not the case with these. I can walk all day and my feet never get sore (I traipsed around London with them last Christmas). Anyway, hope your Christmas was peaceful. Spend those gift cards, yo!
What I’m reading (Again)
Tis the season of green. Can’t stop, won’t stop. I don’t feel like I’m intentionally buying all of the green things, it’s just happening. But this little cardigan was too hard to pass up. I have recently left the Lulu Lemon tribe as well, traded in for these Zella leggings which are a third of the price and more comfortable. They wash better too. I’m often a brand whore and jump on wagons that leave my pocket book empty and give me a wedgie. Zella stays in place and are breathable. Give them a try. Hey ho!
What I’m reading! Sidetone: this book messed me up. I can’t stop thinking about the ending. Why?! Ugh.
Ahhhh, I love this velvet duster/coat. Not only is the color stunning in person, its comfortable and warm (but not too warm). I got so many compliments while wearing it that I can’t wait to pair it with some other outfits. Links below.
What I’m Reading
Chilly, rainy, charming and elegant; my favorite place in the world is London. Sometimes places save me. Five years ago Washington state saved my life by renewing my hope in…well…everything. Florida had taken a toll on me mentally and physically. I was hot (literally) and I felt grimy from life’s disappointments. I wanted to breath fresh air, live below the trees, and see mountains capped in snow. And so here I am, living my dream. London is the place I go to think, and to write, and to feel alive. I was limp and I knew I needed to come, and so I booked a flight. I’ll have something more permanent here one day soon, but for now I’m in my favorite hotel, near my favorite tube station soaking in this magnificent city. I eat bangers and mash for dinner, and I buy giant bottles of water from the corner shop. I walk, and I walk, and I walk until I can’t feel my feet. I eat all the things. I buy Josh clothes. I find bookshops and open markets. I take pictures. I feel good. Thanks for caring and for all your messages and comments over the last few weeks. My outfit links below.
What I’m Reading!